End-of-Year Blues

I feel like Clapton should be playing right now.  It’s two days to New Year’s Eve and I’m in my typical reflective, melancholy mood.  I’m not sure why this happens the last week of each year, but maybe it’s a good thing…the reflective part anyway.  I think maybe it’s because I wonder, once again, if I’ve really done my best.  If I’ve reached my potential in the last year.  The answers are obviously no and no.  Isn’t it a statistic somewhere that we use only 10 percent of our brains?  So already, I’m up a creek.  🙂 There are so many areas, my family life, work life and most importantly my spiritual life that need work.  Serious work.  But even though I could make a list of things that I could have done better…it’s too personal for this venue. 😉  So, I think what I’ll do is skip to the end of the week as if it’s New Year’s Day.  On New Year’s Day my melancholy always lifts with the fireworks and the happy smiles and kisses all around and I think “this year, I’m going to do better!”  I hope I do better, says the back of my brain.  But I think that’s how God in his perfect wisdom gives us progress.  Progress is not jumping from Junior Secretary to CEO overnight.  It’s not becoming the perfect wife in the first week of marriage or even *sigh* being the perfect mom to three kids, even though I’m on the third go ’round now and you’d think I’d have it figured out!  His timing is perfect and the baby steps we make each year are taking us forward in degrees that we can handle.  We have setbacks and times when we wonder “am I ever going to learn?”  “Am I ever going to figure this out before it’s too late?”  Maybe.  But that’s not the point.  The point is to keep trying.  Keep starting over each New Year’s Day and keep being positive.  This year is my year.  Yes, I can legitimately say that every year, because each year is a year of progress in some area of my life.  And though I’m too private to share my personal progresses with the world in general on a blog, I’ll be thinking of the things we’ve been through this year, good and bad, progresses we’ve made and areas we want to do better in.  This year of 2011 will bring big changes in the Carroll family. We’re uprooting ourselves and moving to the States in July.   Though we’re preparing as best we can, there is still a big question mark looming out there and I can tell that 2011 will be a year of significance in our family.  But with God’s good guidance we’ve made it this far, which is something to celebrate!  So throw the confetti, pop the corks, light the fireworks and give thanks to the Almighty for the chances we’ve been given and for the hope we have for the future.

Welcome, 2011.



4 responses to “End-of-Year Blues”

  1. Caryn says :

    It is weird that you posted on this topic because I’ve been thinking a lot about you and the year to come over the last week. Please know we are praying for your transition and the God already has a place prepared and planned for you and yours.

    Also, if I were there and you put on Clapton we would have a little discussion. At least play the B-52s or something less melancholy, Layla. 😉 (I’m sure you are correcting my spelling of that horrific name/song right now.)

  2. 5carrolls says :

    You actually spelled it right! Miracles can happen! 😀

  3. April Everhart says :

    Good for you for having a positive outlook on the new year! I will also pray for you as you make this big transition. You know I’m always willing to talk!

  4. 5carrolls says :

    Thanks, April, I appreciate it! It will be good to get your thoughts on it, since you’ve been through it already!

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