Olivia and I kind of have a tradition now of having a Christmas Tea for her and her friends each year in December.  This year she invited two other girls from her class to our new apartment and we had a good time making cookies, decorating cookies and eating cookies!

Here are some pictures:

Decorating Supplies

Chocolate muffins with a decorated christmas tree sugar cookies

The girls decorated a Christmas tree sugar cookie and stuck it in a chocolate muffin.  The names are on them, but hard to read.

Mmmmm....hot chocolate and apple cider!

After about and 1 1/2 hours in the kitchen the girls picked apple cider or hot chocolate to drink with their favorite sugar cookies they decorated.

I have a 6-year-old son today!!!

He can transform even the most difficult transformers, leap off the top bunk without getting seriously hurt, yell louder than any kid I know, sticks up for his siblings on the playground, annoys them at home, is a good big brother and a pesky little brother, has a memory like an elephant,… the heart of a lion and hugs like a tiger! Happy Birthday, Christopher!

This is a cut-and-paste of the lecture I gave in Filzmoos, Austria last week at a ladies retreat.  I translated it and gave it in German, but since most of my blog readers are English speakers, I posted it here to my blog in English.  Let me know if you want to read it in German.  The theme of the retreat was called “Das, was ich liebe…,” or “My Favorite Things…”  The topic I was given was “I Love Jesus.”  Since this blog also holds my musings and thoughts, I decided to post what I’ve been thinking about for the last several weeks!

I Love Jesus

I love to sing.  If you didn’t know this fact about me before, I’m sure you’ll figure it out before the retreat is over!

I love music so much that I sometimes tend to think “in song.”  Often, when someone is speaking–when I hear a lecture, participate in a discussion, or even am just sitting around at a party chatting–it triggers a memory of a song I have heard before, and I find myself remembering melody with lyrics that further illustrate what that person was saying.  I believe that even if you are NOT a musician, music is a real blessing when it comes to committing information to memory. What I love about hymns from the Bible is that we can learn parts of scripture by heart that we otherwise might not be able to remember.  In fact, if I thought anyone would agree with me, I would suggest that we come together just to sing for five days at this retreat.  After all, our hymns come from God’s word and Christians’ life experiences, both of which we talk about when we come together here in Filzmoos.  I experience no greater joy with my Christian sisters as when we are singing together.

As a child I loved to sing about Jesus.  Though I didn’t know much if anything about the bible, there was just something about the idea of all that Jesus stood for that I loved.  As one of my favorite songs quotes, he has “the sweetest name on earth.” In fact, most of my favorite songs are about Jesus, so in my lecture today, I hope you don’t mind that I’ll be quoting some of my favorite hymns, alongside the scriptures to illustrate three important reasons that I love Jesus so much and why just the sound of his name is so precious to me.

I. I love Jesus because he first loved me.

In your hand-out, there’s a song titled “Oh How I Love Jesus.”  I told you I often think in song.  When Becki asked me to speak on the topic of  “I love Jesus,” this song was the very first thing that popped into my head.  Well, actually, to be honest, panic at speaking in front of people was the first thing that I thought of, but it was closely followed by this song.

Let’s look at the last of the refrain of “Oh How I Love Jesus:”

“Oh, how I love Jesus, because he first loved me.”

The song comes directly from this text in the bible: 1 John 4:19 “We love because he first loved us.”

Every parent has the advantage of being able to love their child before their child even understands what love is.  A child experiences feeling loved before they even know how to express their love in return.  God loved us before we even existed.  How do we know this?  The bible.  Eva gave a wonderful lecture yesterday on God’s Word.  One of her reasons for “I Love The Bible” was, “I love the Bible because it’s the truth.”  Probably the first song I remember singing is “Jesus loves me this I know; for the bible tells me so…”  I sing this song in its entirety with my children so that its message is always in their hearts to draw on when they need it.  How important it is to know that you are loved!  Even those who claim to have no belief in God admit that love works wonders in this world.  Without it, life could not go on.  Let’s go to God’s word to discover His love for us.

Let’s read for a moment, part of Psalm 139. This entire psalm is one of my favorites, but we’ll read just a few verses here.

Psalm 139:13-16:

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

¹⁶ your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

I loved my children before they were even born.  Even when my children were still inside my body I dreamed about them, prayed for them, loved them—and I didn’t even know who they would turn out to be!  Not so with God. God knew exactly who we would be before we were born, before our parents even came together, before even the creation of mankind, he knew us—each and every aspect of our personalities.  I was only involved in one small aspect of my childrens creation, but God was involved in every single part of it since before the moment of ALL creation.  How insurmountable is His love!  God’s love for us was there before we ever could conceive of loving him in return.

Let’s turn to the gospel of John, chapter 1, verse 1-3:

¹In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. ²He was with God in the beginning. ³Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. ⁴In him was life, and that life was the light of men.

The bible tells us that Jesus loved us while he was still with God, before he ever came to earth.  In fact, Jesus himself was our creator as we read in John 1 that “through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made.”

My children and I like to read a popular childrens book called Guess how much I love you? by Sam McBratney.  In this story, the little rabbit tries to show how much he loves big rabbit by trying to measure his love with how wide he can stretch his arms or how high he can jump.  But no matter how big he thinks he can measure his love, big rabbit’s love is always bigger–because big rabbit, of course, has longer arms and a higher jump!

How big is Jesus’ love for us?  Can we measure it like the little rabbit tried to measure his by stretching out his arms as far as they would go?  Certainly, not with our arms, but I think we can indeed measure it with God’s word.

Let’s turn to 1 John 4:9-10 to see just how much he loves us.

^“9This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. ¹⁰This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.”

Revelation 13:8 references Jesus as “the Lamb that was slain from the creation of the world.” He loved us so much that even though he knew that with that first breath of life into Adam, he would eventually be forced to make the ultimate sacrifice for his own creation.  Jesus stretched out his arms with nails in his hands and feet, cuts on his back and a crown of thorns on his head and said, “I love you this much.”

II. I love Jesus because he gives me eternal life.

My original heading for this second reason was a little more specific: “I love Jesus because he reconciled my relationship with God, so that I would not die an eternal death, but instead live eternally with him in heaven.” This heading, however, is not quite as easy to remember!

My last reference in Revelation revealed that Jesus knew from our creation that our relationship with God would not remain perfect—that it would go astray.

At the end of the sixth day of creation, “God saw all that he had made and it was very good” Genesis 1:31.  After God created heavens, waters, land, sun, moon, stars and animals he proclaims that it was good.  After he created man he proclaimed that it was very good.

In Genesis 3:16-17 we read:

¹⁶ And the LORD God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; ¹⁷ but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it you will surely die.”

We all know that later Eve and Adam both ate the fruit from the tree of knowledge and it was at this point that their relationship with God was broken.  God says in Genesis 3:22:

“The man has now become like one of us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever.”

We see that at once their relationship with God took a downhill turn since the first thing they did was try to hide their sin from God and makes excuses for their behavior.

Now there is an important thing here that can be observed and applied to our lives about Adam and Eve’s relationship with God:  Adam and Eve had a perfect relationship with God before they disobeyed him.  God actually walked among them in the Garden! They knew no shame. They knew no pain or death or even hard work. They had eternal life.  We can read about all of these things in Genesis 2 and 3.  Yet they somehow managed to break their relationship with God by choosing a path of sadness and pain, which ultimately led to eternal death.

How many times have we made excuses that we would have a good relationship with God if we just had the time to spend with Him?  If we just hadn’t been born into a horrible family that hurt us and depressed our spirits?  If we didn’t have so many worries about our jobs or our children or our spouses or our futures?  If we weren’t slaves to an addiction?  Sometimes we kid ourselves that we would have a great relationship with God if He would just make our lives easier.  Well, Adam and Eve had a perfect relationship with God in the paradise that He created for them and they still sinned.  They still sinned.

All of us have also sinned—I have sinned—many times.  And as Paul tells us in Romans 6:23, “the wages of sin is death.”  There can be no eternal life with sin on our souls. God has no sin in Him because he is holy. He cannot coexist with it and so when we sinned, from that point on, we could not be with him.

Isaiah fully grasped this significance when he had a vision of the throne room of God in Isaiah 6. Let’s read in Isaiah 6:1-7:

¹ In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple. ² Above him were seraphs, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. ³ And they were calling to one another:

“Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty;  the whole earth is full of his glory.”

⁴ At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke. ⁵ “Woe to me!” I cried. “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty.” ⁶ Then one of the seraphs flew to me with a live coal in his hand, which he had taken with tongs from the altar. ⁷ With it he touched my mouth and said, “See, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away and your sin atoned for.”

Isaiah brings this vision “down to earth” by saying in Isaiah 59:2 saying,” But your iniquities have separated you from your God”

Because we sinned, we were separated from being in the presence of our God, because were no longer holy.  And just as God is holy and cannot be with sin, He is also righteous and requires justice for our sin, which is something that we cannot by word or deed undo on our own.

Ephesians 2:8-9

“⁸For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— ⁹not by works, so that no one can boast.”

We cannot reconcile our relationship to God by ourselves.  We cannot bring reconciliation by good deeds.  That leaves us with an eternal death—separation from God–instead of eternal life with God after this life on earth ends.

I am doing a bible study right now that was written by a woman named Beth Moore called “A Woman’s Heart-God’s Dwelling Place.”  It is a very interesting study that compares the building of the tabernacle in the wilderness in Exodus 25 to the coming of the “true tabernacle” Jesus Christ as a means to better understanding our relationship with God.  In this study she asks: “Have you truly accepted that Christ died not only for you, but also instead of you?”

Let’s take a moment to look at what purpose our lives would have if Christ had not loved us enough to intervene for us.

• Life would no longer be times of love between times of sadness and pain.  It would just be sadness and pain, knowing that our love for our husbands, children, family and friends must one day permanently end.
• Any kindness shown to us would have no further meaning beyond happenstance or coincidence.
• Our purpose in raising our children or educating others children would have no further meaning than trying to ensure survival skills in order to live successfully as long as possible before we die forever.
• Love for ourselves would take greater precedence than love for others, which would lead to a life of loneliness.

I’m sure you can also imagine some additional things in your life that would lose meaning altogether if you thought about it for a few minutes.  But hopefully, all of us in this room know the good news!  This life is NOT all there is and despite times of fear, sadness, pain and hatred it can also hold much beauty, joy and love.  Just as God planned a beautiful life for Adam and Eve before the fall, he planned a glorious salvation for his sinful children so that they could be reconciled with Him again.

Romans 5:6-11:

⁶You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. ⁷Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. ⁸But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

⁹Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! ¹⁰For if, when we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! ¹¹Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.

This is why we sing songs like, “This Is the Day That the Lord Has Made”,  “Prasie the Name of Jesus!” or “Jesus, Name Above All Names.”

And that is why it is written in Romans 8:37-39:

³⁷No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. ³⁸For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

III. I love Jesus because he gives my life purpose.

I used Beth Moore’s question to ask “Have you truly accepted that Christ died not only for you, but instead of you.”  Now I ask, “what does that mean to you?”

When I was 18, I was contemplating being baptized and becoming a follower of Christ. I had been reading the bible with some friends and on my own and I knew that God had spoken to my soul.  I had come to a critical point—a point that every person comes to, who is faced with becoming a Christian.  I believed that Jesus had died for my sins—and I felt a new-found love for this person, that he would suffer so much for me.  But I knew that I had to do more than just love him; I had to live for him.  God had not only spoken to me through his word of Jesus’ sacrifice and resurrection, but also of a transformation that had to happen on my part.

Romans 12:1-2:

¹Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship. ²Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

And in Ephesians 5:1-2:

¹Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children ²and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

And further in verse 8:

⁸For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light.

I had been putting off my decision to be baptized into Christ because I knew that it was more than just actions and words.  It was a commitment to change my life, to change my whole purpose in life.  Eventually, I realized that my life had no real purpose until I accepted Jesus’ love and started living for him.

Psalm 127: 1-2

¹ Unless the LORD builds the house,
its builders labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city,
the watchmen stand guard in vain.

² In vain you rise early
and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat—
for he grants sleep to those he loves.

Let’s look at the words of Jesus himself in John 15:5-8:

I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. ⁶If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. ⁷If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. ⁸This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

When I discovered that my life in all its smallness and insignificance could indeed have such wonderful purpose and meaning, I couldn’t wait to proclaim Jesus as my savior and jump into the water!

My life has not been the same since.  I’m not saying that I’ve always lived an exemplary life since then—of course not.  I make my mistakes—big and small—just like everyone in this room, but throughout my life as a Christian, my purpose has not changed.  In the words of Paul, “¹⁴I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” as he says in Philippians 3.

And what is our purpose?  What is the fruit that we are to bear?  Let’s go to Jesus for the answer.
John 13:34:

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.”

For each of us our love for Jesus and for one another manifests itself in different ways.  For some of you, like me, it has led you to devote your lives to ministry in the church, even the church outside your homeland.  For others of you, it has led you to work Christ’s love within your family, bringing those that are dear to you to Christ—or simply planting the seed in their hearts.  And for still others of you, it has led you to shine your light among your co-workers or even perfect strangers, bringing love and kindness into difficult situations.

Paul shows us how we can fulfill this purpose in our own lives in Ephesians 4:11-13:

¹¹It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, ¹²to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up ¹³until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.

We each of us have our talents and abilities that God has given us with which we can spread Jesus love and good news.  Jesus had many dealings with people of different professions.  Some of them, he called away from their positions to do his work in a more direct manner.  Others, such as centurions, tax collectors and businessmen he left to do his work among their circles.  We see an example of this in Mark 5: 18-20:

¹⁸As Jesus was getting into the boat, the man who had been demon-possessed begged to go with him. ¹⁹Jesus did not let him, but said, “Go home to your family and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.” ²⁰So the man went away and began to tell in the Decapolis how much Jesus had done for him. And all the people were amazed.

This man wanted to be with Jesus, but Jesus knew that the man’s family and others around him needed to hear the good news from him.  And what do we see from those who were healed by Jesus? They were so excited by the love they had found, they had to express it!  We see stories through the gospels of people proclaiming the miracle of Jesus and his healing.  What drove the apostles to fulfill their purpose of spreading the gospel even though it ended in grisly deaths?  Their love for Jesus. Because of their love for Jesus, his message of love was spread and soul’s have been saved, God’s glory has been shown, for generations to come.

If you look at your life today, what motivates you to step outside your comfort zone to invite a neighbor to a bible study?  What checks your anger and helps you act in wisdom when someone insults you or your family or cuts you off on the road or in line at the store?  What keeps you from putting yourself first in your church family, but instead helps you to humbly serve your brothers and sisters in Christ?  I know why I strive to do these things…because I love Jesus.

This stuff tastes YUMMY!  I like it even more than the “fresh”salsa recipe, though it requires more time.  This recipe is also good to freeze in baggies once it has cooled off.

Salsa (roasted)

Serving size:  makes a large bowl…not sure if that will feed 1 person or 8 at your household

Ingredients:

• 10 tomatoes, nice and ripe–no unripe tomatoes!
• 1 medium white onion
• 1 bunch fresh cut cilantro
• juice of half a lime
• 3-4 fresh hot peppers of your choice
• 3 cloves garlic
• 1 1/2 teaspoons chili powder
• salt to taste (I use about 3/4 teaspoon)

Directions:

1. Preheat the oven to broiling.  Take the “eye” out of the tomatoes and make a small “x” on the the bottoms.  Put them in a large, shallow casserole dish.  Broil the tomatoes until the skin is starting to peel back  and small black spots start to appear on the outside of the tomatoes.
2. While the tomatoes are broiling, put the peppers (I like to use chili peppers (red and green) for mild to medium or jalapeno and habaneros for hot) and garlic (unpeeled) into a hot ungreased skillet on the stove.  A non-stick skillet works best for this.  Cook the peppers and garlic in their skins on medium high until they are 3/4 of the way black on the outsides.
3. Remove the peppers and garlic and carefully peel them, being careful especially with the peppers to preserve the soft “flesh” inside.  Remove seeds from peppers and mince.  Mince the softened, peeled garlic as well.
4. When the tomatoes are done, bring them out of the oven to cool enough to peel of the skins.  I do this when they are still kind of hot because it seems easier to do at that temperature.  Chop the tomatoes and put into a large glass bowl.  If you are picky about the seeds, you can remove them at this time.  I usually let some of the seeds naturally fall out of the tomatoes as I chop them, but I don’t mind a few remaining if they sneak into the bowl.
5. Mince the onion and rinse in a strainer with cold water.  This keeps the salsa from tasting “oniony.”  Wash the cilantro well and press out the extra water between two paper towels.  Cut off the bottom part of the stems that don’t have leaves, then finely chop the rest of the cilantro.  Add the onion, peppers, garlic, lime juice, cilantro, chili powder and salt to the tomatoes.  Add more of something as needed–you’ve got a good reason to taste this recipe a lot while you’re making it to make sure it’s just right

My friend, Kristi, taught me how to make salsa from scratch.  Salsa is easily adapted to your own specific tastes.  Here is the way I like to make what I call “fresh” salsa.  It means, nothing’s cooked.  You can freeze it right after you make it in freezer ziploc baggies, so if you have a lot of tomatoes on hand, make a huge batch and bring it out when you need it! I prefer “cluster tomatoes on the vine.” They’re medium sized…not cherry and not huge. Nothing tastes better than homemade salsa!

Salsa (fresh)

Serving size:  makes a large bowl…not sure if that will feed 1 person or 8 at your household

Ingredients:

• 8 tomatoes, nice and ripe–no unripe tomatoes!
• 1 medium white onion
• 1 bunch fresh cut cilantro
• juice of half a lime
• 1-2 fresh hot peppers of your choice
• 1 teaspoon chili powder
• salt to taste (I use about 3/4 teaspoon)

Directions:

1. Chop the tomatoes and put them in a large glass bowl or plastic bowl.  Mince the onion and rinse it in a strainer under cold water.  This will keep your salsa from tasting real “oniony.” Add to the tomatoes. Wash the cilantro well and press out the extra water between two paper towels.  Cut off the bottom part of the stems that don’t have leaves, then finely chop the rest of the cilantro.  Add the onion and lime juice to the salsa.
2. Seed and finely chop the peppers.  I like to use chili peppers (red and green) for mild to medium or jalapeno and habaneros for hot.  Just make sure you use gloves while you’re handling the peppers–and for goodness’ sake, don’t rub your eyes!  Add to the salsa along with the chili powder and salt.

I’m sure there will be more snippets of table conversation at the Carroll house to come. I didn’t want to forget this little bit…

Chris: “I don’t like this stuff, I don’t want to eat it.”

Me: “well, Alex seems to like it–he’s eating for a change.”

Alex:  “yeah, I wike it.”

Chris: Well, I don’t like it.”

Me: “Then I guess you’ll go hungry tonight.  When I cook the meal, that’s what there is. When you cook it, you can pick the dinner.”

Olivia: “When I’m old enough you can come and live with me and I’ll cook.”

Chris: “No, I’LL be the cook.”

Me: “Yeah, why don’t you go get a job, Olivia and take your brothers with you.  I’m sure you could take care of them.  You’re in the second grade!”

*the kids laugh*

Olivia:  “No, mommy you’re being silly! Alex would have to stay with you!  I’m not old enough to take care of him!”

Randy:  “Just to be clear, you DO realize you’re not moving out yet?”

Today is September 11th, 2009, coined “9/11.”  It’s what one can now term an infamous date in history and it’s a date that won’t be forgotten.  I remember exactly where I was, what I was doing and who I was with September 11th, 2001.  I wasn’t even in the U.S.A.

Eight years ago (2001), I moved to Germany with my husband.  My dad and my great-aunt were taking a cruise along the Rhine River and we agreed to meet them in Rothenburg, a quaint little Rhineland town, for lunch.  I also happened to be in my second month of pregnancy with my first child and besides being severely nauseous, I was excited to tell my dad.  We were walking along the streets, window shopping and we ducked into a little store selling collectibles.  A man who lived in the apartment above came downstairs and heard us speaking English.  He knew there were a lot of Americans in town because of the cruise.  He begged Randy to go upstairs with him to see what was on the news.  “World Trade Center!”  “New York!  It’s falling down!”  He tried to say in English.  He kept tugging on Randy’s sleeve.  I was reluctant to let Randy go, because the guy seemed a half step short of an octave, if you know what I mean.  Randy assessed the guy and decided he could take him down if push came to shove and told me he’d be right back.   My dad and I kept shopping.  Then Randy came back down and said he saw video on CNN that showed a plane had crashed into one of the World Trade Center towers.  Me and my dad just said “huh?”  We couldn’t take it in.  It was too surreal with little romanticized medieval shops surrounding us on a narrow cobble-stoned street.  Even on the drive back to Dresden later, Randy and I still thought there must be some mistake.  I remember keeping the TV tuned to the English CNN for at least a week after we got home.  It took a while for the scope of the horror and tragedy to sink in, but once it did, I discovered a very confused feeling…”my entire homeland is hurting, suffering…and I can’t be there.”   I felt…disconnected.

9/11 happened fairly early after we moved to Germany.  We had only been here 3 1/2 months, but I had already broken ground with something that I would struggle with for the next eight years–feeling culturally homeless. That feeling of disconnectedness I experienced on 9/11 has only compounded over the years.  I’ve become intimately familiar with another culture other than my home culture.  I speak German when I shop, when I talk to friends, when I worship, I sing in German…I even speak German sometimes to my children.  I eat differently than I did when I lived in the U.S., my opinions on many worldly issues have altered since I left my homeland.  My views on organized religion have also changed somewhat. Enough so, that on my last trip to the U.S. this summer with my family, I felt so changed that I wondered if I could ever feel like I was truly part of American culture again.

I don’t know what it’s like to be a parent in the States.  I don’t know what it’s like to even have a child in the States…from what I’ve heard, other than the obvious fact that a baby comes out, there are many differences in the whole procedure.  I don’t know what’s on TV or the radio or what books are written these days–I’m missing cultural changes in society–and it hurts.  More specifically put, does the label “American” fit me anymore?

I know that I could not wear the label “German” either.  My German friends here in Dresden joke sometimes that I have been “germanized,” complimenting me, I know, on embracing the German culture.  I have many friends here; we love so many things about German culture–some of which we don’t find in American culture.  But I will never be able to connect with them about their upbringing.  There are so many things I won’t understand about growing up in East Germany, going to German schools or cultural and family traditions–and that hurts, too.

I can relate perfectly to my American friends who grew up in the U.S. as I did, but I cannot relate to many things going on in America today.

I cannot relate to my German friends upbringing at all, but I have embraced their culture to the point of feeling “at home” in Dresden most of the time.

Where is my home?  The answer lies neither in the U.S. or Germany.   During my on-going contemplation of this dilemma of feeling like a stranger in a strange land–whichever land I’m in–I was working on a lecture for a different topic and I had a vague idea that I wanted to maybe use the text from “This World Is Not My Home” to illustrate a point.  As I dug out an old songbook, I read the text.  Then the meaning finally hit me.

This World isn’t my home!  I can’t tell you what relief washed over me after I truly realized that fact.  It doesn’t matter if I don’t fit in perfectly with American culture.  It doesn’t matter if I don’t fit in perfectly with German culture.  It doesn’t matter if everyone labels me as “crazy” for lobbying for deposits on shopping carts in the U.S.  It doesn’t matter if I feel affronted when Germans tell me my kids are too loud.  I can let it go.  I can let it go.  Because my focus is elsewhere.  Why was this burden so heavy?  Because I was focusing on this world instead of the next.  I was so concerned about pleasing two cultures at once–which, by the way, is not humanly possible–that I was forgetting that my true home awaits my attention.  I was trying to be all things to all men, but it wasn’t with God’s glory in mind, it was with me in mind.  Christ was also a stranger in a strange land, but he focused on sharing God’s message of love and reconciliation to the people in his time and in ours instead of trying to please ideas of what he should be or how he should appear.  His treasure were definitely “laid up” in heaven with the Father and not here on earth.

What happened on 9/11 is evidence that Christ’s message of love and reconciliation is desperately needed.  It’s a message that transcends all countries and cultures.  In a world where Satan is wreaking havoc, it’s a relief to be able to look forward to a beautiful home with the Father, to be able experience and share his message of love and reconciliation…wherever I may live in the meantime.

As a final note, I would like to reference this post on my friend, Caryn’s, blog.  This is not what spurred me to write this post today, but it illustrates a beautiful message about this topic.

Sour Cream Cheesecake

Ingredients:

• 1-1/2 cups finely crushed graham crackers (or, if you’re in Germany, a whole package of Vollkorn Leibniz Kekse)
• 1/4 cup finely chopped pecans
• 1 tablespoon sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon (optional)
• 1/2 cup butter, melted
• 2 8-ounce packages cream cheese, softened
• 1 cup sugar
• 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 2 8-ounce cartons sour cream
• 3 eggs, slightly beaten
• 1/2 teaspoon finely shredded lemon peel (optional)
• 1 recipe Blueberry Topping (optional)

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F. For crust, in a bowl combine crushed graham crackers, pecans, the 1 tablespoon sugar, and, if desired, the cinnamon. Stir in melted butter. Press the crumb mixture onto the bottom and about 2 inches up the sides of an 8- or 9-inch springform pan; set aside. (*Note:  If you have a food processor, I processed the crackers and nuts to get them finely ground, then added the sugar and butter and processed again briefly to speed up the crust making process.)
2. For filling, in a large mixing bowl beat cream cheese, the 1 cup sugar, the flour, and vanilla with an electric mixer until combined. Beat in sour cream until smooth. Stir in eggs and, if desired, lemon peel.
3. Pour filling into crust-lined pan. Place the pan in a shallow baking pan. Bake for 45 to 50 minutes for the 8-inch pan, 40 to 45 minutes for the 9-inch pan, or until a 2-1/2-inch area around the outside edge appears set when gently shaken.
4. Cool in pan on a wire rack for 15 minutes. Using a small sharp knife, loosen the crust from sides of pan; cool for 30 minutes. Remove the sides of the pan; cool cheesecake completely on rack. Cover and chill at least 4 hours before serving. If desired, serve with Blueberry Topping.  I spoon it on each individual piece.

This goes great on Sour Cream Cheesecake!  You can also use it to turn plain vanilla ice cream into a dessert fit for guests or use it on pancakes instead of syrup.

Blueberry Topping

Ingredients:

• 3 cups blueberries (if using frozen, thaw first)
• 1/2 cup water
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1 1/2 tablespoons cornstarch
• 2 tablespoons lemon juice

Directions:

1. Put 2 cups of the blueberries in a saucepan on the stove with the water, lemon juice and 1/4 cup of the sugar.  Bring to boiling and simmer for about 5 minutes. Add the other 1 cup blueberries and simmer for about 1 minute more.
2. Mix the other 1/4 cup of sugar and the cornstarch together.  Add the mixture to the blueberries and simmer for another minute while stirring.  Remove from heat and cool in the refrigerator until ready to serve.

This is a recipe I got from Better Homes and Gardens. I make it all the time in the spring and summer with peaches.  I use fresh fruit if I can, but if I need to speed things up, I just use a can of unsweetened sliced peaches.   I’ve also made it using blueberries and raspberries.

Fruit Coffee Cake

Makes: 9 servings

Prep: 30 minutes
Bake: 40 minutes

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Ingredients:

• 1-1/2 to 2 cups pitted and sliced apricots or peaches; chopped, peeled apples or pineapple; or blueberries or red raspberries
• 1/4 cup water
• 1/4 cup sugar
• 2 tablespoons cornstarch
• 1-1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/4 cup butter or margarine
• 1 beaten egg
• 1/2 cup buttermilk or sour milk*
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla
• 1/4 cup all-purpose flour
• 1/4 cup sugar
• 2 tablespoons butter or margarine

Directions

1. For filling, in a medium saucepan combine fruit and water. Bring to boiling. Reduce heat and simmer,* covered, about 5 minutes or until fruit is tender. Combine the 1/4 cup sugar and cornstarch; stir into fruit. Cook and stir over medium heat until mixture is thickened and bubbly. Cook and stir 2 minutes more; set filling aside.

2. In a medium bowl combine the 1-1/2 cups flour, the 3/4 cup sugar, baking powder, and baking soda. Cut in 1/4 cup butter until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Make a well in the center of the flour mixture; set aside.

3. In another bowl combine egg, buttermilk, and vanilla. Add egg mixture all at once to flour mixture. Using a wooden spoon, stir just until moistened (batter should be lumpy). Spread half of the batter into an ungreased 8×8x2-inch baking pan. Spread filling over batter. Drop remaining batter in small mounds over filling.

4. In a small bowl stir together the 1/4 cup flour and 1/4 cup sugar. Cut in the 2 tablespoons butter until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Sprinkle over coffee cake. Bake in a 350 degree F oven for 40 to 45 minutes or until golden. Serve warm. Makes 9 servings.

*Note: Do not simmer raspberries.

Rhubarb-Strawberry Coffee Cake: Prepare as above, except substitute 3/4 cup fresh or frozen cut-up rhubarb and 3/4 cup frozen unsweetened whole strawberries for fruit. Continue as directed.

*Tip: Making Sour Milk: If you don’t have buttermilk on hand when preparing baked goods, substitute sour milk in the same amount. for each cup of sour milk needed, place 1 tablespoon lemon juice or vinegar in a glass measuring cup. Add enough milk to make 1 cup total liquid; stir. Let mixture stand for 5 minutes before using.